Victorian Ladies and Gentlemen: Sarah Stickney Ellis

The Victorian Ladies and Gentlemen section was in my opinion an excellent and intriguing section. It was interesting to read all of the different perspectives on class and gender equality during that time period. There were many authors that were inspiring and gained a lot of respect from me because they advocated gender equality, and as a woman that is very important to me. Of all the writers, however, Ellis stuck out the most. I think because she was taking a perspective that I can not understand and can not imagine living in.

From her biographical information we know Ellis "advised women to accept their inferiority to men and devote themselves to the happiness and moral elevation of their brothers, husbands, and sons."(557). I had a hard time reading this because I do not believe that women are inferior to men, and it is strange to hear these beliefs coming from a woman. I realize that the way society functioned during Ellis's life was much different than how society currently functions, but it is still hard for me to imagine subjecting myself completely to a man. Before I began to read the actual document, I wondered if Ellis actually felt this way, or just wrote these ideas because it is what she thought was proper. So many times people are just a victim of their surroundings, so they will repeat what they have been taught whether they truly believe it or not. This relates back to the work of Mill in that people are afraid to venture outside of what they know...but it is impossible to know the whole truth with out understanding all opinions involving the subject.

In "The Women of England: Their Social Duties and Domestic Habits", Ellis writes about the superiority of men. She tries to explain why men are superior by discussing how they are the ones that venture out into the streets, so their wives don't have to face the danger that exists their. Although this is true, I do not see how that means men are superior to women. At one point on page 558, Ellis writes with very harsh language. She says, "making woman what she ought to be" which is cold and definitely takes importance away from a woman. Ellis just put all women on the same level by stating their is a given role that ALL women NEED to fulfill.

At another point Ellis writes, "No: let the aspect of society be what it may, man is a social being, and beneath the hard surface he puts on, to fit him for the war and tear of every day, he has a heart as true to the kindly affections of our nature, as that of woman - as true, though not as suddenly awakened to every pressing call. He has therefore need of all her sisterly services- and under the pressure of the present times, he needs them more than ever- to foster in his nature, and establish in hi character that higher tone of feeling, without which he can enjoy nothing beyond a kind of animal existence."(558). This quote first points out that woman has a kind and affectionate nature. Ellis then goes on to explain that man needs woman to teach him these kind and affectionate ways to help improve his character. I may be wrong, but it seemed to me that the only reason woman has these good qualities is so that she can teach them to the men and help make them better people. This is hard for me to swallow because I was raised in household which encouraged me to be successful. I play soccer and I was never made to believe that I was inferior to man, or that my only purpose was to serve man.

The reading does not get any less painful for me as the passage continues. Ellis beings to talk about conversation and how it is "an engine so powerful upon the minds and characters of mankind in general, that beauty fades before it, and wealth in comparison is but as leaden coin"(559). She also states that woman has this powerful tool, but that women should use this tool to essentially entertain their husbands. In order to do this, it is the woman's job to make sure they know what their husband would like to discuss. This is made clear when Ellis writes, "But if she has no intellectual hold upon her husband's heart, she must inevitably become that most helpless and pitiable of earthly objects- a slighted wife"(559). If the woman does not understand her husbands likes and needs than the woman becomes an object of little consideration. This I find interesting because I do believe that to be in a relationship, you must have a good understanding of what your partner wants and needs, but I think this understanding goes both ways. The responsibility does not just lie with the woman.

Although Ellis was painful at times for me to read because we hold such different views, it was good to see things from a new perspective. I found myself wondering if Ellis would have felt differently had she still been alive today? I personally think that she would have, and I think that Ellis was just a product of her environment that did not want to advocate a radical change.